Love Beyond Borders or a Foreign Fling?

From opposite sides of the world
From opposite sides of the world

Many people dream of that holiday fling, that whirlwind romance that makes you melt at the knees, your head floating on cloud nine whilst you are exploring a foreign land with no cares in the world. Strolling along remote beaches as the sun dips below the horizon, hand in hand, sipping cocktails as the palms sway not knowing what lies ahead. Or perhaps your version is more along the lines of sitting in a café sipping on your morning espresso in a cobble stoned piazza where a suave Italian woos you with ‘Ciao Bella’ and sweeps you off to his Tuscan Villa for a true Italian romance.

For many, this is just a fantasy just as each individual daydreams about their ideal partner. Perhaps a man in uniform, a fire fighter or a swimsuit model or nurse. For some of us, dating an exotic foreigner is on the bucket list when travelling or living abroad.

Dating a foreigner is purely that. Exotic. It’s intriguing, alluring and curiosity takes over as you yearn for something different and mysterious.

The sandwich boy who delivers lunch daily to your office is someone you would never look twice at in your home country, but here, in a foreign land, suddenly his olive skin, green eyes and spell binding accent encapsulate you. You see him as sexy and find yourself buying sandwiches each day, even though you can’t afford it because you save every penny you have for your travels, just to try and find an excuse to chat with him in hope that his intrigue and interest in you will be returned. You flirt for a few weeks, testing the waters, testing the language skills until one of you develops the confidence to ask if its ok to catch up for a coffee.

Everything moves fast, it’s exciting, it’s new and it’s different. You are swept up in the rush of it all and chances are he is to. After all, you are also a foreigner to him. Your pale skin and cute freckles are enticing to his Latin eyes. Your accent is as endearing to him as his is to you. You are both wearing rose coloured glasses as you discover your new exotic flame and try to figure out if this is a foreign fling or potentially love beyond borders.

Dating a foreigner can be a wonderful eye opening experience. At first it is fresh and filled with excitement and an electric rush as you are exposed to a new language, a new culture and potentially a new country.

Your horizons are broadened, your eyes opened to new worlds and a new way of life. Your Tuesday nights change from sitting on the couch to learning a slow rumba fused with passion as you dance with your sandwich boy in a dimly lit basement bar on the Latino side of town.

Life seems like it can’t get any better. You are living abroad, claiming your independence and living your dream. Now you have an enticing foreigner to share it with you and to show off.

Despite things going smoothly, barriers will always come up when dating a foreigner. It can be a frustrating experience and has extra challenges to regular dating and of course there is always the potential of expiration dating.

Visas run out or one of you may have to return to your home country due to unforeseeable circumstances. It happens and unfortunately it can’t always be avoided.

You start meeting his friends only to find they don’t take a liking to you because you are not ‘one of them’. They all speak in their own language when you are around and you feel excluded. It comes to the time where you want to chat with his family on Skype, only to find they do not speak English, and they have their heart set on their son dating someone of the same ethnicity and cultural beliefs.

There are both positives and negatives of dating a foreigner. For those purely wanting a foreign fling, it can be confidence boosting, stimulating and one of the most fabulous experiences you have whilst travelling. For those wanting to date a foreigner with more of a long term plan, it has been proven many a time that love can cross oceans and go beyond borders. My advice for anyone, is to go with the flow. Take it as it comes as you do with your travels. Unexpected things happen on a daily basis as you explore the world and many things you experience which are beyond your control are some of the most memorable and rewarding experiences of your life. Let this be one of them and check that foreign lover off your bucket list.

Can it work?
Can it work?